Where to begin.
How about with a big “oh-can-we-give-it-a-rest-already”?
The social media trend that makes me feel the most sick right now is Shaming and Blaming.
I’m talking about the loads of posts and articles and memes and whole entire pages where we blame each other and lash out in retaliation for all the ways we feel wretched about ourselves.
What started out as a way to draw important attention and necessary compassion to causes that affect people deeply – like shaming others for their body or race or sexuality – has now become the way we say ‘I feel picked on’ or ‘I don’t like the way I feel when I compare myself to others on the internet.’ Stay with me for a minute…
So, we’ve got the really important ones like:
Slut Shaming & Victim Blame
Body Shaming (you remember this one)
Over time, we’ve begun to retaliate against information and opinions that circulate. We take things personally
I’ve seen Breast Feeding vs. Bottle Feeding Shaming,
Organic Food vs. Conventional Food Shaming
Cesarean vs. Vaginal Birth Shaming
Diet and Exercise Shaming
Flu Shot and Vaccination Shaming
Political and Environmental Shaming….
See a pattern here? You can pretty much feel attacked and shamed for anything these days.
How about Knitting Shaming?
How DARE they rub their knitting skillz in my face!!???
“Jeez, how dare these people take and show pictures of their knitting? I can’t knit. I don’t like to knit. Knitting isn’t my thing.” (substitute the word ‘diet’ for ‘knit’ here, notice anything?)
Or maybe Celebrity Shaming? “Well, they’re a celebrity. That’s the price they pay for a public persona. They owe it to the public to be transparent and to take whatever abuse that follows. That’s just part of the package.” (most of us have public persona on social media… guess that means we have to take scrutiny and critcism, too.)
Hoodie Shaming. “I can’t believe people wear Hoodies as a jacket!! Hoodies are supposed to be worn UNDER a jacket, no one should be able to see it.” Ugh. Just so WRONG (See: Leggings Are Not Pants)
Selfie Shaming. No words. Get over it or look away. Signed A Selfie Lover
I like to spend my days eating pretty clean, exercising and taking care of my body. Not really sorry if that triggers your shit. Funny enough, I am not thinking of you when I post things that interest me.
All my kids are vaccinated and up-to-date. But I have this one beautiful kid who – yes, I am deeply resistant to vaccinate in the future. Sometimes there are valid reasons that others make a decision you don’t agree with.
(Still makes me want to cry. 3 years old. 3 vaccinations in 1 day. Quarantined 10 days post vac.)
I will wear leggings as pants ANY TIME I WANT.
Stop judging other people’s clothing decisions!!!
Which makes me want to bring up Walmart Customer Shaming.
Garbage in the ocean makes me sad. But, so do the people who take photos of unsuspecting others and then post links as a joke. What’s the point? To prove we’re all still assholes from time to time???
Long story short – many of us feel inferior and fragile from time to time. We all have trigger points and shit we’re working to conquer and sore spots in our psyche.
So, if this is the case – how about we drop the shame n’ blame and just be kinder to OURSELVES. I just want to work at loving all the ways I live my life. But I’d like to see your life, too. Not everyone is going to appreciate your food pictures, knitting and your size 18 jeans, but don’t stop sharing.
Shamers gonna shame.
But I’m aiming for nice.
LIVE ON, BE STRONG.