I forget what it was like to be her; I’ve been an adult so long.
The crazy thing about my adulthood is that I’ve always felt like I was that little kid in a grown up body just trying to figure out how shit works. Until about 42, when I dug deeper, and changed everything around. Now I feel such compassion and tenderness for that little Kim and such immense possibility and personal power for the person I am today. 45 feels pretty darn amazing.
You know me, always tracking my fitness through measurements, how I feel, what I eat and photos.
The last two weeks have been a blur.
I left my contract with a homebuilder and took two new contracts – one as business reach for a global online learning series for professional women, and one local, planning a large event for the fall. There is bound to be a steep learning curve associated with any new adventure. Needless to say, I’m maxed out. My schedule is full, I work all hours day, afternoon and evening and I had to give up my kettlebell class to take each contract. *sad face
I’ve sat at a desk for two weeks now. I am commuting again and there are the routine pitfalls that exist in an office environment – candy dishes, chocolate, baking, coffee breaks and lunches out. Working in an office means a social environment with all kinds of temptation, sitting and deadline stress. (cortisol production = belly fat) + stress just isn’t good for you. ever.
My dog walking time has suffered, too. Poor thing, she’s pouting right now, laying at my feet.
And I have some kind of bleary, sore, watery eye that I’m trying to nurture.
To say I’m feeling a little stressed out is an understatement.
On the upside:
45 feels better than 40.
I hiked yesterday with a 40 pound pack for the first time.
Fresh air makes me feel better, even though it’s overcast, cool and windy.
I only have 3 loads of laundry left and I’ll be caught up.
I have a beautiful husband who listens.
And I choose to be happy now.
It will all get done.
I trust things are lining up perfectly.
I am grateful for all I have, food, money, sleep, love.
I am willing.
I am determined.
I am fearless.
I listen for bits of internal wisdom and knowing and act on it.
I choose to stay focused on my values and goals.
Health, exercise, quality food, deep sleep, fresh air, love.
I choose to open myself up to possibility.
Abundance, blessings, opportunities and prosperity.
I choose to be happy now.
I have two jobs with talented teams of people. A supportive husband. Beautiful, healthy children. And all kinds of energy and smarts.
Stay the course, Kim.
Breathe in deep.
And breathe out the stress.
I am exactly where I am supposed to be.