Week one wasn’t so bad. Ate lots of greens and lean protein. Had some big epiphanies. But week two was pretty much a big fuck you in the food department. I’m trying not to beat myself up about it. I worked three quarter time in the office, walked 40km, worked out hard in the gym four mornings this week and made plenty of sensible choices when food was available.
On the flip side, my meal planning sucked (and I was provided with a clear cut simple meal plan) and my food prep was non-existent. I eat far too much healthy fat. Although coconut and olive oil and avocados are good for me, they are super high calorie and as always – its calories in, calories out.
Then, there are the hidden dangers of the office environment – donuts. Almost daily someone brings them (I only had one in two weeks) and I totally avoided the jelly beans, but the last two days in the office this week I caught my hand in the Olympia Mix (peanuts, raisins, cashews, almonds and M & M) jar. High calories. High sugar. High fat. High temptation.
We also had Canadian Thanksgiving – and the traditions of turkey, stuffing, gravy, wine and pie. And leftovers.
And then there was a road trip: long hours in the truck, boredom, common road trip snacks like Cheetos Crunchies and sour gummies. Now there is party food. And wedding food. Pop. Wine. All the stuff I don’t want to be eating. Followed up by a conference (with conference meals and snacks and sitting) and Halloween.
Why is so hard for me to eat well? Avoid candy? Sweets and treats? Potato chips?
Am I really a food addict?
Is it just that I’m weak minded?
Am I just destined to be a cheater, make excuses and be lazy?
Why do I beat myself up?
Why am I so hard on myself?
Why do I push?
Why does it matter?
Why can’t it be easier for me to avoid all those things?
Why can’t I just say no?
Why do I justify my poor choices? (It’s the holidays… It’s just one… I worked hard all week…Oh, relax…)
Why do I allow excuses?
Then I go back to – Why am I pushing so hard for this?
Why can’t I just be happy with myself?
What am I looking for?
What can’t I just either commit and DO IT? Or say, No-big-deal-Kim-just-eat-whatever-the-fuck-you-want!
Disclaimer: Here’s the thing. I hit the gym and work hard 4 days a week, and walk about 30km a week with my dog. There are plenty of days I am under my calorie goal. I’ve made some decent choices. And, yeah, some poor ones. There were several days that were a total write off. And if it was anyone else I knew and loved, I’d tell them to relax, recommit, restart and refocus on why they started and what they really want. AND I’d remind them that it is a lifestyle I’m building.
Why was this challenge important?
I wanted to increase lean muscle mass by 3%.
I wanted to decrease visceral fat (belly fat) by 2%.
I wanted to reduce my level of intracellular inflammation by 2%.
I didn’t do it to make myself miserable.
I didn’t do it to become obsessive.
I didn’t do it to feel shitty.
I did it to become more intentional in my choices – exercise and food.
I did it to consciously take better care of myself.
I did it because I wanted to have access to the InBody 520 percentages and breakdown.
And, of course, I have achieved those challenge aims.
I’ve still got a month to lay down some new habits and make new choices.
Start fresh every day if that’s what I need to do.