“Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old familiar zone where we feel secure.”
THIS. This is apparently what I do.
It shows up in any number of areas in my life. Career success. Gym success. Money success.
“Deep inside your mind a little voice says, “You can’t possibly feel this good” (or “make this much money” or “be this happy in love”). Unconsciously, you then do something to bring yourself back down to the thermostat setting you’re familiar with. Even if you do reach a glorious new height, it is often short lived.”
Most recently, with my 8 Week Challenge – workouts, I can bring it. I’m strong. I’m fit. I love me some gym time.
But, I have to be careful – my inner radar goes on when I …
- think I might be annoying someone with my enthusiasm
- become aware my successes might make someone else feel like a failure
- start to reach for my big goals
- think someone might be judging my commitment or progress
It’s complete craziness. I feel like a nutbar even writing it down, but it’s the truth.
I curtail my “wins” in order to avoiding shining brightly.
I’ve been aware of the inner dialogue that happens for years. This is the voice who says things like …
- Just who do you think you are?
- What makes you think you can do that?
- If THEY don’t have it, YOU most certainly don’t deserve it.
- Why do you bother writing? Everyone around you finds you redundant and annoying and like a giant fucking record that is stuck on *blip self-absorbed *blip self-absorbed *blip self-absorbed.
And I’m reeeaaaallly sick of that voice.
I am ready to remove that Upper Limit, for good.
Let it go, already, Kim.
You’ve done the therapy. And bought all the books. Took the test. And read all the material – twice.
Let if fucking go.
“By its very nature, the Upper Limit Problem is unsolvable in your ordinary state of consciousness.” [Um, yeah. No shit.] “If you could solve it that way, you would have solved it long ago.”
I am on it.
Because for some reason, living in my Zone of Excellence isn’t enough. It’s not that I’m not good enough the way I am, it’s that I understand I haven’t yet reached my intellectual, physical or creative capacity. I want to LIVE fully in my Zone of Genius.
And I believe it’s possible.
*Quotes from – The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level by Gay Hendricks