Exhausted summed up my WHOLE LIFE until this morning.
I got about 7.5-8 hours of sleep AND caught my first workout in a full week… NOW I feel like I can keep going.
Summer “holidays” and rest time – for me – are a total farce. PLUS, I just came home from a whirlwind long weekend with girlfriends – late nights, too much food, too much wine, just enough sun – all the love. I don’t know about you – but holidays ARE NOT restful. Travel is exhausting. Three hour time change. Poor sleeps in strange beds. You know…
I’m trying to work 35 hours a week learning in my new position (human services and foster care/training and staff development) I just signed off on incorporation and bought in as partner of a rising star business and I’ve got about 3 weeks left on my fitness certification to become coach and trainer at the gym I am passionate about.
I’ve also got TWO large dogs, two teenage daughters that keep me on my toes, a husband and marriage that I make a priority to nourish and sustain and my own health and fitness routine, which has TOTALLY taken a back seat in my busy-ness.
When the going gets tough – when I’m emotionally and physically exhausted – when I wonder what in the actual eff I am doing with my life – when I can’t keep up with laundry, housework and shaving my legs – I am called to remember:
I CHOOSE IT ALL.
I choose growth.
I choose meaning.
I choose activity.
I choose people.
I choose to work.
I choose focus.
I choose purpose.
I choose empowerment.
I choose mobility.
I choose who I spend time with.
I choose how I respond.
I choose this schedule.
I choose movement.
I choose what I do each day.
I choose my words.
I choose again when it isn’t working for me.
NO ONE carved this pace out for me. I did.
NO ONE said ‘Do a hundred things at rocket speed’.
NO ONE said ‘Take on 3 big jobs at once and try to do them all well’.
NO ONE said ‘Stay up late, eat that crappy food, drink too much wine and screw your workouts’.
No one but me. I own it.
Often, when life feels busy and burdonsome and heavy and we get worn down and wore out – it becomes easy to forget that WE HOLD THE POWER.
I CHOOSE every step I’m making.
My role now is to buckle down and commit to seeing those choices through or to CHOOSE AGAIN to modify my actions to reflect the way I want to spend my time.
My job now is to stay in touch with how my body feels, with how I’m coping mentally and emotionally – my job is to eat to fuel and sleep to restore. My job is to ensure that I am in the best possible state and frame of mind to accomplish what I’ve CHOSEN to do with this one great and wild life.
It’s EASY when we’re burning out to blame others for our state – or to feel like life has imposed this unreasonable pace on us – or that someone has a proverbial gun to our head and has us in this painful holding position.
BUT WE ALWAYS HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE AGAIN.
There are no excuses, Kim. When your life isn’t working for you, chart a new course – choose new. When you’ve chosen the direction – and you’re satisfied with your choice – your work is to stay rested, fuelled, loved and clear. Stay the course. You’re doing great.
Thanks for listening.